It was another bad morning, alone and so acutely aware of it. Or, as we call it around here: Monday. I had friends. At least, I had people that I used to hang out and drink and laugh and ass around with. I would be there for them when the pillars of their worlds were […]
We all die alone. Some people just get to do it around more people.
“Dear ——, “I’d originally written out this long overwrought mess and then realized that what I wanted to say was quite simple. “I’m sorry. “I was a horrible human being in my youth. At the very least, I had the emotional maturity of a maladjusted four-year old. It took me years to develop the self-awareness […]
It’s one of those days.One of those days for screaming into the Void. At least the Void will listen and the Void is always there. Some days missing you is overwhelming… Was it worth it? The hurting at the endI’d go there again.It was beautiful. I’m half the man I used to be…
What is there to say about the loneliness? I could state the obvious and just say it sucks, but I actually think I’m OK with it. I’ve spent years on my own – even in crowds, at work, at restaurants – you name it. Being alone ain’t too bad. But that’s being alone when I […]
Black coffee and cigarettes: the breakfast of champions. At least it is if your sport doesn’t involve anything more strenuous than sitting at a desk. I kind of like to think of it as a microcosm of life. One thing, I love.One thing, I hate.One thing makes things bearable.One thing will kill me.
Here I am sitting in the dark, freezing my fingers off wondering what I’m going to do with myself. Maybe I’ll do nothing.Maybe I’ll freeze.Maybe I’ll die. I guess you could call this my suicide journal. And how do I plan to do myself in?What is my preferred method? Time.My plan is to overdose on […]