Day Five

“Dear ——, “I’d originally written out this long overwrought mess and then realized that what I wanted to say was quite simple. “I’m sorry. “I was a horrible human being in my youth. At the very least, I had the emotional maturity of a maladjusted four-year old. It took me years to develop the self-awareness […]

Day Three

What is there to say about the loneliness? I could state the obvious and just say it sucks, but I actually think I’m OK with it. I’ve spent years on my own – even in crowds, at work, at restaurants – you name it. Being alone ain’t too bad. But that’s being alone when I […]

Day Two

Black coffee and cigarettes: the breakfast of champions. At least it is if your sport doesn’t involve anything more strenuous than sitting at a desk. I kind of like to think of it as a microcosm of life. One thing, I love.One thing, I hate.One thing makes things bearable.One thing will kill me.

Day One

Here I am sitting in the dark, freezing my fingers off wondering what I’m going to do with myself. Maybe I’ll do nothing.Maybe I’ll freeze.Maybe I’ll die. I guess you could call this my suicide journal. And how do I plan to do myself in?What is my preferred method? Time.My plan is to overdose on […]